So basically RL has been kicking my ass, and as a result I've been a Class A internet A-Hole. Sorry lj. I want to make sweet promises, like I'll be better in the future, but that would be a complete lie. And I don't want to lie to you, baby )))):

Not a lot has been up with me in the fannish sense, but I feel compelled to inform you that I have been keeping up with b.urie's twitter, and it is every bit as queer and magical as I imagined it would be. In the past, I've supposed that loving b.urie is like collective mental illness from which we all suffer. Keeping up with that metaphor, I must tell you that my sickness has advanced to a near-terminal level. So. Here's 1,600 words of Brendine in a dress. I hope you like it.

Tin Gods by Beezus
Brendon/Ryan | PATD | Adult

( Ryan closes his eyes and exhales slowly through his nose. He sends out a silent curse to the person who thought trussing Brendon up in a gown like an 18th century courtier was an acceptable premise for a music video. )

Was linked to this article on delicious. It reminded me of something I had written, god, at least a year ago. I'm it posting now for my own sake; one less thing knocking around with my unfinished docs. Let's file this under silly nonsense and call it a day.

"You have to understand that this is someone I care a lot about. There’s still a lot of love between me and Pete. At least there is from my side. So when I pick up a newspaper and read the latest installment in his life, it makes me sad and angry. I’m relieved that I’m not part of that grotesque merry-go-round. But I wish Pete wasn’t a part of it either."

Pete/Carl. Libertines. 245 words

( That Grotesque Merry-Go-Round )

Whilst making my bi-monthly sweep of pb for bflow pics, I stumbled upon something most alarming:



Is it better or worse that I had due cause to abuse photobucket in this way? For about thirty seconds I had no recollection of making any of the above searches, and was convinced I had developed some sort of sleepwalking disorder, but instead of sleepwalking I surf the internet for pictures of the applebottom.

( latest FOB tour video )

> The boys of Hey Monday are obviously friends of Kevin Jonas, if you catch my meaning. Cassadee is their hag, y/n? Now I understand why she and Pete are so close.

> This tour shall henceforth be referred to as Patrick's International Tour of Hotassery and Domination.

> Each installment of The Grown Ass Man Show reminds me of a Fearless Radio interview with Gaychris and my husband, Nick Scimeca. While discussing the bartskull tattoo Chris has inked on his ass, one of the boys came out and admitted that the only reason Release The Bats was born into this world was because Pete payed his friends in cold hard cash to participate. Who knew physical abuse had a price? Besides Dirty, that is.


I've playing the falloutboy trail for fifteen minutes, tops, and Andy just died. Of sadness. :(

"THAT'S MY LEG, NOT HERS!"

Something he tells Pete often? Man, Ryan really brought the lols today. Good job, Ryan!



bonus oldschool Pete/Ryan picture, just for kicks. Their relationship is so weird, you guys. So. Weird. Can anyone else make out what Pete says about his "beard?"

Last night I spent curled up on my broseph's couch, watching Practical Magic on cable. In order for me to sit through movies such as these I must recast the characters as Bandom folks in my head. Who wouldn't read a Practical Magic AU? Brendon Urie and Frank Iero are cousins separated since birth, that is until their fathers die sudden and inexplicable deaths, and they're forced live on an island with their crazy uncles -- Mikey and Gerard -- who teach them all about magic and family curses. Gerard warns them that any man who dares fall in love with either cousin will die a tragic death, so, Brendon casts a spell for a boy so perfect he could never exist. Brendon's true love will hear his call from a mile away. He'll whistle Brendon's favorite songs, think all Brendon's jokes are funny, and his eyes will match the deep blue of the island sky before a storm, etc. etc.

Years pass, and Brendon and Frank grow up like brothers, practicing witchcraft on an island where the other kids whisper about them behind their backs. On his eighteenth birthday Frank runs away to join a rock band and Brendon misses him and misses him until the uncles cast a love spell of their own and Brendon takes up with an island boy named Ryan. And Brendon's ecstatically happy until the day comes where Ryan meets the same fate as Brendon's father and every man who's loved a member of Brendon's family.

And, I don't know, other stuff happens, like Frank hooking up with an older guy who hits Frank and Brendon has no choice but to accidentally murder him, as you do. Officer Smith comes to town looking for this shady character and Brendon's like, "I don't have any idea what you're talking about, pretty man." Of course, Spencer doesn't believe a word of it, and he hangs around town, asking questions, being nosy. Blah, blah, blah, Brendon and Spencer take a walk on the beach before a storm and, sure enough, Spencer's eyes match the sky, blah, blah, blah, stuff, blah, blah, blah, Brendon must embrace his magic, blah, blah, blah, séances, blah, blah, blah, Spencer doesn't care if Frank and Brendon killed the bad guy, and Brendon's like, "WHEN I WAS YOUNG I CAST A SPELL. I SUMMONED YOU, THAT'S WHY ALL THIS HAPPENED, AND WE'LL NEVER KNOW IF YOU TRULY LOVE ME OR IF IT'S ONLY BECAUSE OF THE MAGIC. PLUS, YOU MIGHT DIE." Spencer walks away, pauses, then turns to Brendon and says, "I DON'T BELIEVE IN CURSES, AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I WISHED FOR YOU TOO." ;__________; Anyways.


Pete is like That Dude at clubs, you know That Dude? The one who shows up alone and spends most of the night on the dance floor, making awkward attempts to dance up on you and your friends? Peter Wentz, I dnw to grind with you.

In conclusion: I WISHED FOR YOU TOO.

Everyone MUST WATCH the most refreshingly radical video that's swept the interwebs in forever. It's a flatout celebration of identity, which is basically my favorite thing ever. Aieeeeee. brb, emailing this to my mom. eta: I just realized this is hardly the first video I've posted with an adorable boy throwing his body around like a maniac. Is this like a thing with me? Should I create a tag?

Somebody in this house ordered a metric fuckload of pizza last night and now I have no choice but to eat it, even though the dairy is giving me a nasty head/stomachache. Speaking of non vegan food, last week I got really amped when I discovered what I THOUGHT to be vegan ramen noodles at the gas station across the street. They weren't really vegan, you guys. Cue four hour asthma attack triggered by the beef flavoring that I couldn't even TASTE in the powdered sauce junk.

This morning I woke up with a song lyric stuck in my head. Does that ever happen to you? Not a whole song, just a snatch of melody or a phrase. I thought the lyric was one from an American Football song, but I was mistaken. It was a Dashboard Confessional song. You can probably guess which one. Dashboard never fails to remind me of this girl Jellybean I once knew. Jellybean wasn't her real, for actual, name, but that's what everyone I knew called her. I'll never forget this one time when I was... god, probably about fourteen? She went off on an indignant rant about bands like Dashboard and Pennywise and American Hi-Fi, how they were "murdering the soul of punk rock". In retrospect it's pretty funny. Well, maybe I'm the only one who finds it funny, but whatever. She was a really big Cursive fan. Not that I'm in any position to tease, I think I wore an MxPx patch on my backpack that year. And listened to a lot of Dispatch. Sooooo much Dispatch. Somewhere, I must still own every flipping Dispatch CD there is, including the tour DVD. Oh, god. I bet Brendon Urie is a huge Dispatch fan; he loves all those douchey white brorock hippy bands, see also: Sublime. I would send him all my CDs if that didn't cost money and also if I actually cared.

Huh, this entry once had a point, but I've forgotten it. Now I can't stop listening to Modest Mouse, and that's never a good idea. Ahhhh. Oh, I know, I wanted to talk about Robert Corey Bryar, because I love him. Bob is someone who I actually would spend money on shipping just to send him a gift, but I can't think of anything worth sending. Bobbbbbbb. Bobert. Bobby Bob Bob. Okay, I'll stop. I feel compelled to upload some tunes, if only to make this post a little less tl;dr.



American Football - Self Titled

[source]

"Hey, you guys. Hey. It's me. Elijah. 'sup. I know it's been awhile. I'm just checking in to say ... 'hey.' Some of you might be wondering what I've been up to lately, and I have to tell ya; I've been up to a lot of neat shit. For example, I've been spending more time with Hannah. My sister, Hannah, not my girlfriend. I know it gets confusing. I've also been listening to a lot of Sigur Rós and playing a lot of bingo. Now, I know you might be thinking to yourself, 'But Elijah! Bingo is for old people.' Tonight I'm here to tell you that it's not. It's not just for old people; it's for old people and hipsters. I know. I know I totally just blew your mind, but it's true. Anyway. That's actually all I have to say for now. My publicist would probably like for me to mention the new movies I have coming out. So, yeah. I have two movies coming out soon. You should check them out, I guess. If you like movies. You could also play some bingo. I'll leave that decision up to you."

On the off chance you don't have the feed for Beckett's blog on your flist:



Nicholas Scimeca: OMGGGG
William Beckett: HOLY FUCK RIGHT’?!
Nicholas Scimeca: unreal.
William Beckett: I’m asking for more from him
Nicholas Scimeca: those are brilliant
3:11 PM
Nicholas Scimeca: how did we get chicks?
3:12 PM
William Beckett: hahahahaha
William Beckett: NO CLUE

"OMGGGG," you guise. I love Nick Scimeca so much. Seriously, he's my favorite faux homo of them all.

And that's all I have to say about that.

I have a confession to make. Something that I've needed to get off my chest for quite awhile now. Sharing this will be difficult, considering how all y'all are raging JoBros fans these days. First, you should know that what I'm about to say is in no way meant to reflect upon or diminish my fond affection for Joe Jonas. I rarely take sides in any drama, especially that of the disney nature. It's just that --

I LOVE TAYLOR SWIFT

There. I said it. I love her. She's completely nutso emotional and I'm loving every second of it. Just imagine if my love were a car, okay? And it's fueled by her crazysauce. Yeah. My love is a car, you guys. I don't even know anymore. j.timb needs to get himself a sparkly ring and promise that girl forever. They'd be talented and monogamous and slightly off-kilter for the rest of eternity. And, you know, Lynn Harless would love herself some Taylor Swift. Perfect couple? Or most perfect couple?

This post brought to you by extreme boredom and prolonged exposure to youtube.

WHERE ARE ALL THE COLIN/BRADLEY EPICS?



GIVE THEM TO ME, FOR MY NEED IS GREAT.

Poll #1348255
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 14

IS MY NEED GREAT?

I missed the train on that "people you want to stick it in" meme that was circulating a few days back, but no worries. I feel at liberty to post pictures of attractive people every day, meme or no.

( Follow me to the land of uglyhots. )

I feel oddly exposed now, like you got a good glance up my skirt. Promise you won't think any less of me?